in the black of the night,

To semi-quote a certain respected someone,
"My seniors read this.
Woah."

Thinking about it, blogs are actually quite good, they're a good way to see different sides of a person.
We booked the Wii console and PS3 in the Hodge Lodge today, freaking fun playing Wii boxing and tennis (even though i got owned), and it's a super good workout for your arms.

Anyway moving on, the real reason for this post is really to rant (so tune off if you're not interested)

Some unpleasant experiences with a certain Sec 3 RG Basketballer who came to accompany her 2 friends for RJ soccer training today - I generally have developed a personal standard that I don't complain about people online, but this time would be an exception, because I'm appalled at the level of disrespect shown.

Certain remarks made by this particular Sec 3 RG bballer were uncalled for. I can understand if you're not very interested in soccer, but there's no reason to criticise the cca and its members. Since you attended OUR PRACTICE, whether voluntarily or not, the least you could do is show respect for us. I can't believe her audacity; people like her who push others down to elevate themselves are the lowliest lifeforms on earth. Just so you know, being in basketball doesn't make you better than everyone else.

Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against bballers (though the general impression is not very positive). In fact, I think the bballers in my batch are nice and cool people, and I definitely admire their team spirit. But if I ever met the girl again, expect a confrontation (in fact, I secretly think the rest of my batch will just pummel her).

Maybe there's truth when people say that the Sec 3 and Sec 4 batch have attitude problems. I really detest people who CONSCIOUSLY display elitist attitudes, and this is coming from a person who has spent 6 yrs in MGS, and 4.5 years as a Rafflesian. At least one thing I've learnt from the opportunities I've been given (read: ODAC, OSL, PSB) and from my parents is that humility opens your eyes and opens up many opportunities.

Admittedly, I come from a (what many would consider) comfortable background. My parents can mix up there with their doctors/lawyers/bankers/MP/minister friends, but they can just as easily interact with the chicken rice stall uncle/ the kopitiam cleaner/ provision shop auntie - and I've seen them doing it. It explains my low tolerance for people who like to consciously flaunt, and criticise others.

Another example is when one of the RJ teachers shared with us of how a NS guy came back to RJ to share with experiences and went said something along the lines of how he was "placed with the malays down there." If after 6 years of Rafflesian education churns out people who are insensitive, proud and elitist, I say the Raffles Programme is a failure. To think that some of them could become our future nation leaders.

Sometimes, you just can't help feeling sore.

It was a tough fight against SA, and they eventually won 3-2. Our first loss of the season, but the game we fought the hardest.

Personally, my first match of the season. Imagine my extreme surprise when I was put into the starting 11, to play for the entire first half. I can't say that I played in a way that I deserve playing on the field, but the experience is immeasurable - the tempo, the energy. If I could have one wish for that match, it would be that I wished I started playing with tenacity, confidence and spirit much earlier.

But the seniors were brilliant, I think my entire batch has a great desire to be as IMBA as the J2s by next year, and there's a small fear we won't be able to achieve it.

In some way, I'm quite glad women's soccer isn't exactly an established sport yet among all the Interschool Championships, and there isn't as much support for it as compared to other sports. In that way, there's space for women's soccer to grow and reach new heights, in terms of status etc.

For an extremely entertaining read: http://redsports.sg/2008/05/03/girls-a-division-football/

Question: (Some people don't understand) Why would 22 (wo)men want to chase after a ball?
I never really understood the need for this question. Isn't it the same as asking why men would want to chase after an oval ball, or asking why men would want to vault over a pole, or even asking why men would want to swim as fast as they can? I guess this isn't really answering the question, but I'm just pointing out how ridiculous and unintelligent this question really is.

Note: I know my past few posts have been about soccer, soccer, and more soccer. It almost seems as if I eat, breath, live RJ girls' soccer (not that I don't) and I don't do anything else except play soccer. It's just that when I type a post about soccer, I don't feel as inspired to type about the other stuff that's been happening.

Hopefully, I'll feel slightly inspired soon to give an update.
For now, recent random memorable things that come to mind:
1. Library talk with Tomyetkai
2. Random jumpshots and pictures with Zes, Omi, Chloe, Stuart outside CL5
3. Falling into a bush while playing soccer
4. Jass concert + meeting T's mum for the first time
5. SAJC match + What Happens in Vegas movie premiere (Cameron Diaz + Ashton Kutcher = super hot pairing!)
6. May day OG outing + mugging at JEC
7. Dance Night (I met Estelle and did not recognise her!!)
8. Mugging at orchard

Hopefully, a photo post soon.

I still have things I want to do:
1. Watch SIFF encore films at Sinema: Lucky 7 and Women Who Love Women
2. Haji lane and bras basah for stuff
3. Picnic with XT & PL
4. Sleepover with Rach
5. Start drawing

Over the past 3 days, we've had 2 matches:
1. On sat against hwach, won 1-0
2. Today against SRJC, won 1-0

I think we all knew the team didn't play with heart for the hwach match, that was obvious to everyone. I guess starting with a scoreline of 9-0 is both abnormal and misleading.

But I love this team, you can tell how crazy we are by how we scream our heads off on the benches, and how we give our opponents nicknames.

SAJC is on Wednesday, that will probably be our toughest match yet, but I believe in RJ Girls' Soccer.
And the amazing thing is, we're such a young cca (3 yrs old!), we still have so much potential to grow (:

(HAHAHA BTW, Chelsea FTW)

We won our first match yesterday 9-0. Great way to start A div.

Very very very happy and extremely proud of RJ Girls' soccer. I can't believe how much I've grown to love my CCA, and how amazing my teammates are to me.

All the way, CHAMPIONS 08!(:

On an other note, I'm really proud of myself for choosing to do my PI on a less conventional topic. Huge risk for me, because I seldom translate my interests into my academic life - mostly because they're not in the areas of academia. I mean, my interests stay purely as interests, up to my own perusal whenever I can find the time. School work is utterly life-consuming at times.

It really feels as if it's been a long time since I've been here/ on msn.
This is my 5th post for April, and it's already 2/3rd into the month. Must be some record.

To appease my OCD, here's a list of interesting things that happened:
1. PI/ GPP more or less settled. I scrapped my earlier journey for a riskier but more interesting one - I think it's extremely cool but hope it pays off. My group is the bombz, we're incredibly productive yet at the same time, joke and crap around so much that I get stomach cramps from laughing. If not, how on earth would a semi-water fight happen on our first official meeting?

2. Chem SPA is over, and it went without a hitch. Full marks is within reach.

3. Our first kickoff got postponed, I think we all feel kena scammed. So first match is on Wed!

4. Soccer jerseys: Pretty Hot, pretty cool.

Another list of to-dos (I know, boring. You can just shut off here):
1. Shorten PI

2. Finish math tutorial 6, assignment

3. Finish chem tutorial 3

4. Do research for GP and Geog presentation

5. Reorganise my clothes

where does this leave me?

edit/
It's been a long time since I blogged (by my standards), many things have happened. Many highs, and a big low.

I really don't know how I feel now, 2 days after finding out the news. On Monday I was just stunned and numb, on Tuesday I was emo, today I feel slightly better but...

I'm alright when I don't think about it, but I know that's not the way to get over it. My greatest consolation right now is that when I cry (metaphorically speaking, I haven't actually cried), my family cries with me. And of course I'm grateful to my friends who have been my much-needed source of laughter (and therefore temporary happiness) these 2 days.

It's not obvious because I don't seem unhappy, but I'm really really disappointed;  to have gone so far and almost all the way, and eventually not make it - it's a huge blow I won't get over so easily.

All I know is that apart from my grandma's death, I have never had to be so strong for myself before, and I have never wanted anything to this extent before.

If you're interested, we won 1-0 against NIE, brilliant goal by Adeline.
Season's starting, first match this Saturday. Although I might not play, but undeniably the team is great. RJ Girls' Soccer 08 champs FTW!
/edit

Corrinne May is good therapy. This song spoke to me, because it basically parallels my own story/feelings/journey.

Five Loaves and Two Fishes

A little boy of thirteen
was on his way to school
He heard a crowd of people laughing
and he went to take a look
Thousands were listening
to the stories of one man
He spoke with such wisdom,
even the kids could understand

The hours passed so quickly
the day turned to night
Everyone was hungry
but there was no food in sight
The boy looked in his lunchbox
at the little that he had
He wasn't sure what good it'd do
there were thousands to be fed

But he saw the twinkling eyes of Jesus
the kindness in His smile
and the boy cried out
with the trust of a child
he said:

"Take my five loaves and two fishes
Do with it as you will
I surrender
Take my fears and inhibitions
All my burdens, my ambitions
You can use it all
to feed them all"

I often think about that boy
when I'm feeling small
and I worry that the work I do
means nothing at all

But every single tear I cry
is a diamond in His hands
and every door that slams in my face
I will offer up in prayer

So I'll give you every breadth that I have
Oh Lord, you can work miracles
All that you need is my "Amen"

Take my five loaves and two fishes
Do with it as you will
I surrender
Take my fears and inhibitions
All my burdens, my ambitions
You can use it all
I hope it's not too small

I trust in you
I trust in you

Take my five loaves and two fishes
Do with it as you will
I surrender
Take my fears and inhibitions
All my burdens, my ambitions
You can use it all
no gift is too small
 

It feels good to finally be able to complain to someone what I've kept under for some time. I don't like to think of myself as someone who complains a lot but in this case, I can't help feeling the injustice of it all. But I guess I should already know that life is never fair, you win some and lose some.

Inexplicably, have been slightly moody towards the end of last week. Maybe it’s the culmination of different pressures. My biggest fear right now is literally like a dark cloud that is constantly looming over my head; my fears have always been about my inadequacy.

These are the points in time that you have to be strong in God and trust that he has a greater and worthier plan for you. There are some people who I really admire for their internal strength and courage, hopefully one day I’ll be able to work up my courage to tell these people that “Hey, you’ve been an inspiration to me.”

QotD: “Success is the degree to which our hearts are transformed through an obedience to Jesus Christ” – Dr Tan Lai Yong.

Completely random, but I really really love RJ Girls’ Soccer to pieces. I guess it’s really about how much you’ve invested – whether in getting to know your fellow CCA mates or the amount training that you put in – that determines how strongly you feel for it.

This was informal outing @ Bugis on 1st April (school-declared holiday!). We forced the guys too take neoprints (note the ratio of guys to girls), and as you can see, they’re quite inept at it. Later on, Zes and I went around to Esprit and Topman and picked clothes to dress Tue and Andrew in. Will post up pictures when I get my hands on them but the bottom line is – they looked 1 million times better with a bit of fashion help (go consult Stuart for advice!).

Zes picked out an outfit for me at Topshop as well, which I admit was pretty well matched, but it’s way too obscene to be posted up here (photos were not allowed so Zes got me to take one in the dressing room - you’ll take one look at the photo and think I’m narcissistic). I’ve never worn such micro shorts before – I can see my fbt tanline!! – it’s something I would expect people to wear to go clubbing.

1stAprNeoprint1.jpg

1stAprNeoprint2.jpg

I know I said my next post would be on Introverts in an Extrovertist world, but I realised such a topic needs some sort of inspiration.

So since I'm in no mood to write about that, I shall write about my fairly exciting day in school today. Not that lessons were exciting, but I did something exciting today - donate blood!

I feel quite cheated, it wasn't as painful as I thought it would be. Obviously there's pain, but not that much (or maybe I'm just insensitive hahaha). The only thing remotely painful about donating blood was Huijun scaring me big time (it was like seeing what happened to grandma in Sec 2 all over again), even the anaesthesia injection wasn't pain.

Anyway, I thought the iron test was funny, he kept squeezing the blood out and sucking it up with a straw. And my vein was so obvious it didn't take them very long to poke the needle. Plus it felt like I only spent 10 minutes on the chair, my blood seems to flow out quite fast. Was very fascinated by the sight of my blood filling up the bag, because it doesn't even feel like the blood is flowing out or anything.

Yay, so cool. Will definitely donate again, it was very enjoyable (:

(By special request from Sharon 'Blackie' Tan to blog about the goals)

Today was our first friendly ever against SP, and I'm half-relieved/half-disappointed I didn't play; it was just as fulfilling watching the game progress, I think it was an eye-opening experience for all of us.

So the score for our first ever match stands at 4-1. (Take that, those who said that we weren't good!)
Admittedly, I actually thought we would lose, but of course I'm pleasantly surprised.

[2ND HALF ONWARDS]
1st Goal: Own Goal
Someone crossed ball to the right, Serene kicked it towards goal. Goalkeeper either deflected or kicked it into the net.

2nd Goal: Celeste
Goalkeeper didn't hold on to the ball properly, Celeste continues with the ball and kicks it into open goal at very close range.

3rd Goal: Adeline
Slight scrambling for the ball, Adeline kicks into goal at close range.

4th Goal: Vicki
Min Zhen crosses in, gets tackled near the goal, slight scrambling for ball, Vicki kicks it in at close range.

There Sharon, you have a commentary on the goals, I know it's sounds quite boring and all but ohwell. (Still in extreme shock she actually reads my blog, wonder who else reads HMM)

Hope to catch up with work and have a nice chat with some friends tomorrow (:
Next blog topic: Introverts in an Extrovertist World - Understand, Accept and Embrace.
(One of my personal favourites because I get to vent and it's so relevant to me)

Class camp was cool! Super duper happy (: I guess in part, I never expected it to be such a success, but now I think we're a frickin' cool class.

Camp was also moments of spirituality, deep and sincere conversations. What started out as simple quiet time reading Luke evolved into an exciting exploration into Christianity for the 7 of us. Whoever thought I could spent nearly 3 hours discussing faith with a group of people whom I only knew as my classmates? It's extremely cool that now I know I have a group of friends whom I can rely on to remind me to "eh, say grace". If the two days of camp were anything to go by, I might really start to enjoy JC life.

Dragged myself out of bed at 8am yesterday (surprise!). Climbing wasn't really fulfilling for me this time but it was great climbing being able to climb again. Neighbourhood prata party yesterday at hse11, which obviously involved social small talk (eugh) and got boring for me very quickly.