from lj: 14.

it's been 14 hours. alone.

I woke up at 6am, said bye to my family, hugged and kissed all of them, and waved goodbye.

I woke up again at 10am, wandered around the empty house, ate breakfast.
Mum calls, they've arrived safely (thank God), I talk to everyone on the phone, tears streaming silently down my face. I miss them so so much already. Tried to do work but never really focused.

The meals kill me, I eat alone at the dining table, deafening silence surrounds me.
Mum calls again in the evening, I'm near giddy with happiness, but I need to stop crying.

I treasure "me time", I occasionally prefer to be by myself, sometimes I coop myself at home and avoid the world, I don't mind doing things alone and being alone. But never ever have I felt like this - a feeling I can only describe as loneliness. I pray for strength, it's not even been 24hours and I wish my family was back home already. How on earth am I going to last the next 4 days?

It sounds psycho, but I keep the TV on constantly; it can never replace the noise and bustle of having my family around.