from lj: 9 and counting

I'm breaking my blogging dry spell because I can't take it anymore, I can't keep everything pent up inside, swirling around in my head.

I can't post because vox is having problems (again) and I can't type anything at andyy.vox.com, which is extremely frustrating. So I've created a temporary new livejournal acct.

I doubt anyone I know will find this or read this. But I've never blogged for people anyway, blogging is literally my personal diary.
It scares me sometimes how dependent I've become on blogging for emotional releases, but I guess it's a much healthier way than binge eating or emotional shopping or any of the many sins and onverindulgences humans are terribly prone to.

Right now, I'm feeling many things - of which fear and sadness is the strongest.
In about 9 hours, my entire family will be leaving for China, and I will be left alone at home for 5 days. I'm scared, because really who likes to be left alone at home? I've always been independent, but the thought of being alone in an empty house, deviod of the hustle and bustle of family life, of literally having no one around scares me. In fact, it downright freaks me out.

My mum told told me I have to get used to it anyway, if I'm going to study overseas. But you know, it's different. Yes I will miss my family, but everything will be unfamiliar and I'll have to get used to it - that's not scary. What is scary is being in the only place that gives you comfort, but having the people who make the place warmth and comfortable gone. It's like something is missing, like a person without soul or a book without words. This feeling really stinks. I feel like I'm about to lose my comfort blanket. Shows how important my family is to me.

Dear Lord,
Please please grant my family safety on their trip to China, right from the moment they board the plane to when they reach the gate upon their return. I pray for your everlasting protection and guidance in the things they do, and that as they enjoy themselves, they will be kept safe and return home safely, happy and healthy. I commit my family into your hands, in Jesus' heavenly name I pray, Amen.