I'm stoked on gravity,

I wish...

nobody@vox.com(Andrea Tan Yehua) — Mon, 04 Jan 2010 14:13:01 +0800

Cambridge would just put me out of my misery now. Nerve-wracking.

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twentyten.

nobody@vox.com(Andrea Tan Yehua) — Sun, 03 Jan 2010 01:27:54 +0800

I've been very bad at posting, I think no one reads here regularly anymore haha.

So while almost everyone that I read in the blogosphere has set their New Year resolutions and written down their hopes and aspirations for 2010, I've been languishing. This year, I pray for good health and peace to those that I love.

Been tinkling with the guitar and (I think) I can finally play a song. Shall peruse more youtube videos to help me better improve. I've downed my first bottle of corona beer without getting drunk. But doubt I'll turn alcoholic anytime soon - studying science means I know what compound alcohol is and what it does to your liver. I've packed my table(s) so that's a minor accomplishment. Now everything is neatly organised into recycled shoe boxes. Now all I need is to clean out my wardrobe and finish my letters and I'm truly all set to tackle the new year. Have 2 months before I start work, need to think of what to do with my time. For now, I've gotten more books, so I need to finish them all.

I also wanna get started on the awesome idea I have of painting my bike a totally cool colour. Will post up pictures when I'm done with it! And while gradtrip might not materialise because of parental objections, hopefully my BK trip with Derrick will go through.

Never really made resolutions for myself but if I were to, I only have one:
Through pain and joy,
laughter and tears,
success and disappointment,
worries and expectations
I'm going to enjoy the ride.

Random: By the next decade, I'll be 28!! SCARY.

Say hello to my new 2010 Muji Planner/Notebook

Photo on 2010-01-02 at 01.53

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Sri Lanka.

nobody@vox.com(Andrea Tan Yehua) — Sat, 26 Dec 2009 02:10:34 +0800

I've always felt Christmas isn't Christmas if it isn't celebrated in a church, or if it isn't in remembrance of Jesus. But this Christmas, I'm reminded of how little I know about the origins and the history of my faith. Guess I better start reading.

When I say that I'm going to Sri Lanka this December, the typical response I get is "Wow so exotic!" or "Are you going there for CIP?". I have to say that any preconceptions I had of Sri Lanka is now shattered (as we all know, preconceptions are hardly true and can be damaging). Maybe it's because we associate Sri Lanka with India, or because of the media focus on their civil war. But no, I found Sri Lanka to be a beautiful country, where nature is mostly left untouched and there is a healthy respect for religion. If you had imagine Sri Lanka to be a place where there are beggars on the streets, smelly roadsides and poor living conditions, then you are misinformed (and probably imagining India). Far from that image, in my 8 days there, I hardly saw beggars on the streets, I didn't have to hold my nose when I stepped out of the bus, and I barely saw any sign of abject poverty. Even farmers in rural areas have electricity and running water and basic sanitation. Sri Lanka's HDI is comparable to Thailand and even higher than Indonesia. Considering that they've been mired in civil war, I'm very intrigued by their reasonably high standards of living.

I found most Sri Lankans to be friendly and polite, and most of them speak English well (it's a compulsory school subject). What struck me the most is their dedication to their faith. With most of the population being Theravada Buddhists, there are many Buddhist Temples both modern and ancient. I've never stepped into that many Buddhist Temples nor learnt so much about this religion. And while some Christians might be uncomfortable visiting the sanctuaries of another religion, I've never felt that way. Part of understanding your own faith comes from understanding other faiths. In fact, there are many cultural influences found within all the religious sites, from the Chinese ancient warrior statues outside a Buddhist temple to the Hindu influences found in temple art and architecture. Like when I visited Pompeii in Italy, I especially loved visiting the ruins of the ancient Kingdom of Polonnaruwa.

Though a part of me still wishes for a holiday somewhere colder like Japan or Europe, I'm glad I've had this unconventional experience. Like all places, there were good and bad experiences in Sri Lanka. But the bad is best forgotten, so here are some of the good:

The pristine beaches of the Sri Lankan Coastline, even in the aftermath of the Tsunami

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Buddha in a blessing posture:
A gift from Japan, to appease the Sea in remembrance of the Tsunami

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The cooler Hill Country of Sri Lanka, where the finest Ceylon tea is grown.
Tea is a major export item for Sri Lanka and provides employment for 2 million people.

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A lake before a thunderstorm

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The Lion Rock Citadel Sigiriya, a huge rock of hardened magma from an extinct and long-eroded volcano.
The kingdom and palace of Prince Kashyapa, guilty of patricide.

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The last ones standing!
Reaching the top, another "mountain" submitted. (Yes I know, Aaron needs a haircut)

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Photo Credits: Aaron Leong

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QotD(s).

nobody@vox.com(Andrea Tan Yehua) — Fri, 25 Dec 2009 02:33:35 +0800

"Love changes everything, how you live and how you die"
"Nothing in the world will ever be the same"
"Love changes everything, pain is deeper than before"
"Love makes fools of everyone, all the rules we make are broken"

Love this rendition:

Why is it that I've never realised how true and wise and meaningful this song is whenever Dad plays this song in the car?? I must have been daydreaming.

Merry Christmas Everyone! :D

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What I've been up to.

nobody@vox.com(Andrea Tan Yehua) — Wed, 16 Dec 2009 00:52:46 +0800

1. LNAT: Essay was terrible beyond words. Lord, my future is all in your hands.
2. Cleared up bedside + repacked and reorganised my shoes
3. Attended DBS Treasures Appreciation Dinner with daddy (in place of mummy). Very interesting experience, think I was the only person in the room with zero net worth and definitely the youngest. Well, learnt alot about the networking that adults do.

4. Had lunch with a reduced class gang to celebrate Eileen's Birthday. HAPPY BIRTHDAY EILEEN! :D

My eyes have almost disappeared

To Do:
1. Sort out A Level papers (yes I know I'm the last to dump my notes)
2. Reorganise wardrobe!!
3. Read more voraciously

I Wish:
1. I had more courage
2. Less hesitation

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Msia

nobody@vox.com(Andrea Tan Yehua) — Wed, 16 Dec 2009 00:40:26 +0800

Hi!! KL trip was fun!! :D Unexpected haha. This is the first time I've seen KL from a completely different perspective. My previous visits to KL usually revolve around KLCC, KL Ritz Carlton, and the city centre itself. This is the first time I've seen Daman Sara and Putra Jaya.

Thanks to Uncle and Auntie Lee, we managed to see Daman Sara CityPark, a new development. It's a completely gated, self-sufficient, enclosed community with smaller nuclear landed property estates within, each with their own guard houses (much like our condos in SG except it's all landed property). There's even a man-made central lake, shopping centre, a private hospital, banks, and an upcoming international school. I should say at this point that Daman Sara CityPark is NOT an actual city or town, it is a privately developed residential area built to be self-sufficient. In geographical terms, it is NOT a satellite town or a new town, neither is it a growth pole. The entire area is privately owned, privately developed and privately sold by a huge timber company in Msia. The entire land area is probably the size of Jurong including Lakeside, and that's only my guess (not even a guesstimate). Needless to say, with so many terraces and bungalows, most of the people who own houses here are foreigners/ rich people, much like those who live in Daman Sara Heights. And because land is abundant here (comparative to SG), the land area of a landed property is huge, and relatively cheaper.

Despite the luxury or the houses and the neighbourhood, I would never trade living in an opulent bungalow in Msia with a tiny flat in SG. Honestly, Daman Sara CityPark is the only place in Msia which feels like Singapore, where sidewalks are well-lit, and people walk around the neighbourhood comfortably in shorts and flip-flops without needed to be extra careful and alert, and that is only because the whole CityPark is heavily gated and guarded. Despite all the luxurious houses, the minute you walk out of the CityPark, your alertness shoots sky-high, sidewalks aren't paved and streetlamps are far apart. Here, security and safety is never taken for granted, unlike in Singapore. Sure, land area is so scarce in Singapore, and owning a landed property the same size as one in Msia can cost you 4 times as much, but nothing can trade for that peace of mind. Of knowing that you can walk on the streets at night in constant fear or being mugged, knowing that public transport is reliable and cars need not be the common mode of transport, and most importantly knowing that your police force is trustworthy and there to protect you.

Yet another thing that really strikes me is the social stratification in Msia that is really quite apparent. Chinese here don't send their kids to national schools but to Chinese schools or international schools. Gated communities and the residential equivalent of holland/bukit timah area in Msia is largely inhabited by expats, foreigners and Chinese. If you're from rural Msia, you will likely end up knowing minimal English (due to the Msian government's reversal of education policy), which will hurt your job prospects in comparison to those who studied English in school (namely, the Chinese). Meritocracy is something we deride and take for granted so often in Singapore, and even with criticisms of the rise of the elite class, the simple truth is that opportunities are in far more abundance to those who want to succeed in SG than many places in the world. Everything I have is a result of what my parents have done, which is basically wealth and assets accumulated within 1 generation, something that I have realized is unlikely to occur elsewhere.

Surprisingly, most of the landed property in Msia have solar panels installed on their roofs, quite unlike those in Singapore. Such green technology should be more widely installed in Singapore. The long term benefits are so great, and the returns will probably be many times more than the initial investment - judging by how much sun we get.

That aside, I learnt so much more about Msian politics than I did during the Sec 4 options trip. Some things are just unsaid and only locals will know. But it's really interesting, it makes me want to read up more on the politics of Msia, let's just say that I appreciate that there is transparency in Singapore, that corruption is the exception rather than the norm, and that integrity is the foundation of our judiciary. KL has been quite eyeopening for me, having seen and explored a different facet to KL

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Things that make me happy no. 1:

nobody@vox.com(Andrea Tan Yehua) — Tue, 08 Dec 2009 01:33:23 +0800

Writing my email to my most favourite cousin in the world (started at 12.30am, and finished at 1.30am)
Note: Email has obviously been edited, I'm not stupid.

Email2

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Of discovery and disappointment

nobody@vox.com(Andrea Tan Yehua) — Sun, 06 Dec 2009 22:10:15 +0800

Had a really interesting conversation today via sms (of all ways!). Now I feel more reassured, but with a twinge of nostalgia (at least I think so) which I will adamantly ignore

So Prom's over, but the whole finality of graduating from JC and the fact that I will no longer wear a school uniform hasn't sunken in. Somehow, unlike Sec 4, this doesn't really feel like goodbye. I guess it's just another rite of passage in life. So the gang's bar hopping experience failed cos Harry's was closing and we didn't really wanna join the crowd. We didn't feel like clubbing either, clothes were so uncomfortable anyway. Oh well, there's always another day, another time.

After sleeping at 6am and waking up at 11am, had lunch with my 2 favourite people (both who predictably skipped Prom) at 2pm. Indian restaurant was not bad I guess, though we couldn't really order that much. But catching up over lunch was awesome.

(edit: following paragraph has been edited. decided I shouldn't sound so harsh)
But like with all great things, life throws us hiccups to deal with. Let's just say I'm even more clear where our friendship stands. All these years I feel like I'm to only one making a genuine effort. And within the past 1.5yrs when I finally decided to sit back and take less initiative, things have deteriorated. I want to see more of your genuine commitment to maintaining this friendship, not only when prodded into action. Like my very wise bestfriend once said (and yes, the very same bestfriend I had since Sec1/Sec 2), talk is really just talk when there's is no action to show for it.

That aside, I realise my posts are so incredibly boring and emo-sounding now. But no! I'm not some girl wallowing in self pity and depression. Only because the things that inspire thought are generally not happy fluffy ones? Oh well, since I've moved away from recounting daily affairs (because they're so boring to write and I can't be bothered), I shall post more about the small things that make me happy and contented and warm and fuzzy inside. I will start with staring at one picture I took with a certain someone during prom... :P

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updates

nobody@vox.com(Andrea Tan Yehua) — Fri, 27 Nov 2009 01:42:33 +0800

This place is pretty much dead. Not sure if it's a temporary thing but I do know I need more inspiration. I've been reading more which is great.

Random things:
1. With A Levels nearly over, I'm more afraid now than before. It's sickening to think that your future path is heavily affected by this ONE test. Doesn't that kind of defeat the whole purpose of the education system? (Ah well, we already know the education system is flawed so to those gunning for a teaching scholarship - hope you do something about it). Everytime I think about the tests I've sat for, there's this sickening feeling of dread at the bottom of my stomach.

Of all my fears, what I fear the most is mediocrity. I honestly rather fail 3 out of my 4 subjects and retake A levels again than to score AABB/ABBB. Mediocrity is neither here nor there, and that's what scares me the most. This almost sounds elitist, but it's not. My fears do not stem from an elitist point of view, but rather a dose of self doubt and questioning of my ability. Most people I talk to (or have talked to) would dismiss these fears and assure me that I would probably score many As. If you've never been someone who consistently scores As and Bs for all your subjects in school (esp in RJC), you will never feel that assurance, that certainty that you will do well at the A levels.

I only know I have one thing to hold on to.

2. I'm constantly amazed by project runway. It seems so amazing to me that clothes can be made out of such random things. Newspaper?? Deconstructed wedding dress? WOW

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Breather.

nobody@vox.com(Andrea Tan Yehua) — Wed, 11 Nov 2009 19:14:36 +0800

1. The difference between "successful" people and "unsuccessful" people, is their drive.

And as much as there are smart, intelligent "successful" people, there are just as many less eloquent, slightly 'rough round the edges', less intellectual people who are "successful".

People who want to succeed, succeed eventually (because they won't accept anything less). Hasn't that always been the basis of so many quotes from successful people?

So many things to express on this and academic elitism in Spore - till next time, or I might never post publicly.

2. Too many things in my head to write this down properly, might be the meds. Falling sick a day before the start of the A Levels is not a great feeling. The throat's really killing me and the freezing temperatures in the exam hall doesn't help one bit.

Though I think that sitting for 3 papers in a day is a feat that deserves to be applauded (hence time "taken off" to post this). I do feel quiet satisfaction for my essay and Bio was surprisingly straightforward (though I'm not sure if that's a good thing)

When I stop to contemplate how this exam will potentially determine my future, never have I felt such insecurity after each paper.

Such thoughts will be banished before the next paper, but for now, my still tingling fingers need a break (after 5 hours of non stop writing).

Side note: There's an amazing number of boosters/medication needed for travel to Sri Lanka - Hep A, Tetanus, Typhoid, Polio, Meningitis, Malaria. Thank goodness we were all vaccinated for Polio and Typhoid in primary school, so I only need 3 jabs and anti-malarials.

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